Acid-Spitting Dinosaur Card

I made this way back on Valentine's Day, but I forgot to post it with the rest of my melodramatic cards.  In retrospect, this may have been a good idea.

I Guess They Can Be Pedestrians Too...

In a World Where No One Can be Sure That They are Using the Word "Irony" Correctly, I'm Pretty Sure I Found Something That is Almost Definitely Ironic...

As I was moderating my comments, I found this one from a spammer.  It was posted on Spaghatta Nadle.  

I'm pretty sure that is irony.  For several reasons.  

Guess What? I Actually Posted Something on Here!

How to be Famous

There are many routes you can take to reach the ultimate goal of being famous.  Here are several of them.

1.  Be in movies.

2.  Be in a famous rock band.

3.  Be in a famous band that is not a rock band but still famous.  Like Simon and Garfunkel.

4.  Be a... nevermind.  I'm not supposed to talk about p0rn because I don't want those ads here.  Or maybe I do.  You guys would totally click them, wouldn't you.  Perverts.  That's probably not a very good keyword. 

5.  Videotape yourself doing something disgusting/amazing and put it on YouTube. 

6.  Be really, really, really good at basketball.

7.  Be a serial killer.  Actually, don't do that.  There need to be fewer serial killers, not more. 

8.  Win American Idol.

9.  Learn how to time-travel.  Some say it can't be done and that may be true, but if you could figure out how to do it, you would definitely be famous. 

Post #3

Here's another Craigslist posting from my neck of the woods:

Apparently there is more than one person in western Montana with this viewpoint:

FML

Post #2

This was posted on Craigslist in a town near where I live.

That sounds totally legitimate. 

Post #1

I just realized that I haven't updated this blog in a really long time.  To make up for that, I'm going to update it a whole bunch of times right now. 

Here's post #1:

Twitter has a feature called "trending topics" which is supposedly a good indication of what is popular on Twitter but actually it's just a way for stupid people to share their ideas on a topic preceded by a hashtag, like #imstupidletstalkaboutbunnies BUNIES UR SOOO CUTE OMG!

Or sometimes people just say something like this:

It is slightly worse when the person does not appear to be aware of their stupidity:

No Sierra... ur the 1 w/ teh prolem.  Probably.  Unless you happen to be dating ColorMeHandsome.  Then I totally agree with you.

OMG!OMG!OMG! I HAVE ADD! AND IT IS UNCONTROLLED AND I ATE COFFEE.

Yes. "Ate coffee." That was not a typo. Have you ever eaten coffee beans? They are like Rice Krispies but larger and coffee-er.

Anyway, I am almost out of my ADHD medication and I am trying to find a substitute. I know that what I take is a stimulant, so I thought "why not try coffee?"

The good news is that it does help me focus. The bad news is that the amount of coffee required to achieve that focus could probably kill a medium-sized beagle.

Guess what else? It is 11:24 PM and normal people go to bed at that time. But not me. I feel like my body is detached from my body. That would make sense if you ate as much coffee as me.

I need to write some new stuff here...

Maybe I'll turn this into a poetry blog. A cat poetry blog.

Cats

By Allie

Cats are orange and stripey.

Sometimes.

Or black.

Uh-oh don't let it cross your path!

But really, where hasn't a black cat crossed

Probably some places

Like the Sahara Desert

Or Walgreen's

Or McDonald's

But I'm almost certain cats have been in Mcdonald's

Whether or not they were black though...

I don't know

Is this even a poem?

The answer is yes.