Rat. Again.

This is another picture of Nina. It's kind of blurry, but that's because she is almost definitely equipped with Super Sonic Speed and she takes liberal advantage of this fact. She almost never sits still.

This is probably the most informative and exciting blog on the planet.

Rat

I've written too much about cats.

Do you want to see a picture of my pet rat, Nina?

I hope so, because I'm posting one.

If you don't think she's cute, you are probably a vampire and therefore incapable of experiencing feelings of cuteness.

I just made that up about vampires, but I bet it's true.

Name Change

I am so paranoid about getting my Adsense account deleted that I had to change the title of the blog because it contained a questionable word.

I don't think I like this censorship stuff. Sometimes you just need to say naughty words to create the proper environment for a joke. Some people will tell you that bad words are never necessary, but I beg to differ:

Example 1:

1. "Oh."

2. "Oh Sh-t."

Example 2:

1. "I love you."

2. "I f---ing love you."

3. "I love f---ing you."

Those sentences don't even mean the same thing without the curse words.

Anyway, now I have to go back and write the word isht or crap where there used to be a different word and then I won't even have the ads for cat diarrhea anymore! I am such a sell-out.

This is exactly why I didn't want AdSense on my other blog. Even though it would have been really fun to see what kinds of keywords it came up with. I wonder if my MSP store would show up in my ads? Probably.

Maybe I'll do a one-day Adsense thing on my other blog. Just to see what keywords come up.

At any rate, I am sorry my out-of-control paranoia has caused me to have to take out some of my favorite words. I hope that my favorite ads do not disappear with them.

Cat diarrhea

Cat diarrhea

Cat diarrhea

Okay, I just wanted to make sure that my favorite ad ever wasn't in jeopardy of vanishing just because I got rid of the s-word.

The Cat in My Life

This is Boyfriend's cat, Angelo. I think he is probably mentally ill. He had to be put on Prozac for a little while, but apparently it wasn't helping him and it just made him obese so he is not on Prozac anymore.

I like Angelo because he is so unpredictable! I never get bored with petting him - mostly because I don't ever get to pet him for very long before he starts mauling me for no reason.

Sometimes I put on several layers of very thick clothing and a pair of leather gloves and wage battle with Angelo. I can't tell if he likes it or not, but it's sure fun for me! One time he bit through two sweatshirts and probably gave me rabies, but most of the time he is pretty ineffective at harming me.

This is a picture of a cat attacking a thing that kind of looks like a lamp, but then there's no light bulb or lampshade, so it's probably not a lamp. I don't know what it is, but the cat is attacking it.

Aren't you guys glad I started this blog?

Boyfriend Quotes #1

Me: "Do I look too disgusting to be seen in public?"

Boyfriend: "You don't look disgusting... it's just obvious that you aren't trying hard to look pretty."


Or this closely related quote from yesterday morning:


Me: "I feel gross..."

Boyfriend: "You don't look gross."

Me: "Really? Because I don't feel pretty at all right now."

Boyfriend: "Well, you don't look as pretty as you usually do, but you aren't gross."


I think Boyfriend is lucky that I am the way that I am. And by that I mean "awesome."

Not a Good Idea

I am (word that adsense probably hates because they don't like drunk people) and I really reeally really want to click my own ads because I am suddenly very curious about ALL of them.

I shouldn't.

Google will ge soooooooooooooooo mad!

Ther'es a guy on the TV an dhis face is super super red. I don' t know why. He was just playing football so maybe that's why but my face would never be tht red just from football. Maybe an oven or a embarrassment but not football.

Crap, you guys. I am going to mess up all of my keywords and stuff.

Drunk and internet don't mix. Just like boats.

OMG

I am totally starting a cheap spin-off website called "LMAOcats" and it will be based around the phrase "icanhasbigmac?"

Awesome.

UPDATE: I also have dibs on ROFLcats, so don't even think about it.

Do You Want to Hear Something Funny?

I'm not even a cat person. I mean, cats are fine and everything, but I'm not the kind of person who would write a blog with a central theme that is heavily cat-based.

But I did.

I did exactly that.

It worked for LOLcats.

Facts #3

I have to pee.

Really bad.

But I am such a procrastinator that I am actually going to procrastinate on attending to my physiological needs.

If I could procrastinate on breathing, I totally would.