Post #3

Here's another Craigslist posting from my neck of the woods:

Apparently there is more than one person in western Montana with this viewpoint:

FML

Rat. Again.

This is another picture of Nina. It's kind of blurry, but that's because she is almost definitely equipped with Super Sonic Speed and she takes liberal advantage of this fact. She almost never sits still.

This is probably the most informative and exciting blog on the planet.

Rat

I've written too much about cats.

Do you want to see a picture of my pet rat, Nina?

I hope so, because I'm posting one.

If you don't think she's cute, you are probably a vampire and therefore incapable of experiencing feelings of cuteness.

I just made that up about vampires, but I bet it's true.

The Cat in My Life

This is Boyfriend's cat, Angelo. I think he is probably mentally ill. He had to be put on Prozac for a little while, but apparently it wasn't helping him and it just made him obese so he is not on Prozac anymore.

I like Angelo because he is so unpredictable! I never get bored with petting him - mostly because I don't ever get to pet him for very long before he starts mauling me for no reason.

Sometimes I put on several layers of very thick clothing and a pair of leather gloves and wage battle with Angelo. I can't tell if he likes it or not, but it's sure fun for me! One time he bit through two sweatshirts and probably gave me rabies, but most of the time he is pretty ineffective at harming me.

So I Just Realized That I Should Probably Talk About Cats Again

Cats seem to be a good niche for me.

I have no idea why.

Would you like it if I talked about cats some more?

Well guess what?

That's exactly what I am going to do. And if you don't like it? Tough kittens. That is a stupid phrase that I would never say in real life.

Keywords: id, pets, cats, dogs, microchip, collar, tags, find, lost, found, mayonnaise.

I like to throw in weird words every now and again. Who knows? Maybe someone out there is looking for a mayonnaise tracker. What am I saying? This really doesn't make any sense at all. It is quickly turning into a WTF? site. Which is why I should reiterate: you should probably only read this if you are abusing some sort of substance.

Okay.

Vocab Story: So this one time? There were a bunch of cats and dogs and mayonnaises (I think I pretty much have a monopoly on that word...). They all got together at the local Lost and Found and decided to create a foundation (oooh... "foundation" is probably a great keyword!) for pets who did not wish to be tracked by a microchip. Because that limits an animal's freedom. Sometimes animals want the option of going out and getting run over by a car or lost forever. They are like teenagers only animal-ier. Anyway, all the pets got together and burned their collars and id tags - like women used to burn their bras but not really at all like that actually. I need to find a job... wait... this kind of is my job. Isn't that insane ??? I get paid to sit here and write stupid stories about pets organizing a strike on microchips and id tags. I hope Google is cool with this because I would much rather do this than flip burgers.